KakuHida OLT
by SleetFury
Summary: KakuHidan/KakuHida One Last Time. Can also be found on deviantart, same profile name. Hidan and Kakuzu are sent on a mission to a resort, not far from the land of waves: but they are expected. Rated M for Hidan's laguage and later scenes. -DEADFIC-
1. Chapter 1

"What do you mean 'the end'? I can't die...neither can you..."

Tears had started to well up in the corners of Hidan's eyes. He pulled against the shackles binding him to the wall.

"I'm just saying you should be prepared. You might not be able to die but...

**I can. **"

It was an ordinary mission. An ordinary mission that went horribly wrong.

Trapped in an underground dungeon and subject to unspeakable torture, Kakuzu and Hidan are on their last legs.

Will their love survive what could be their final days? Or will it wither and die like a dejected plant?

KakuHidan

One last time 

"It's just i_one_/i little mission. We go in, we kill him, and we get out. Easy."

"No."

"You can kill as many people as you like once we get in there."

"...**no**..."

"You can paint Jashin symbols everywhere."

"...cut that out!"

"There'll be plenty of time for sex."

"Stop doing this to me!!"

"You can have as much 'fun' as you want."

"..."

"Well?"

"**Fine**"

"YES!! 200,000,00¥ here I come!!"


	2. Chapter 2

The sky was heavy with the grey of unburst clouds. Around the two shinobi was a melancholy heaviness, like something weighing down on them. As they passed the entrances of posh shops and trinket stalls, the dogs stopped their incessant barking and whimpered. Silenced by the morbid aura of death surrounding the cloaked men.

The approaching yellow light of the resort the two men were headed for began to fade, and, as time passed, filtered out altogether to reveal a mournful and sombre shade of grey cloaking the once happy holiday home.

"Why is it so fucking depressing around here?!" Hidan complained loudly, causing some of the parents to clap their hands over their children's ears.

"I don't know. Maybe if you weren't such and idiot and kept your huge mouth shut, people might smile."

"No fucking way in hell." Hidan beamed, pushing Kakuzu towards the check-in desk.

Their suite turned out to be the worst possible for their situation. The honeymoon suite. In the corner of the vibrant pink room was a Jacuzzi, quietly bubbling away to itself and along the far wall was a king sized hot pink double bed.

"Holy Jashin! I won't be walking for weeks!!"

Kakuzu laughed hoarsely at Hidan's blunt exclamation. Leaning down, he picked Hidan up in the traditional 'crossing the threshold' baby carry. Automatically, threads snaked out of his stitches and slammed the door shut.

"Kakuzu? Weren't we supposed to be doing something?" Hidan sighed, looping his arms around Kakuzu's neck.

"He can wait."

The pale-skinned albino smirked as Kakuzu place him gently on the side of the Jacuzzi and slipped his hand underneath the folds of Hidan's shirt.

And that was when someone knocked on the door.


	3. Chapter 3

KakuHidan OLT part 2

"What the hell do you want?!" Kakuzu growled loudly, his fingertips barely touching the tip of Hidan's nipple.

"R...r...room...room service...?" Muttered someone on the other side of the gaudy door.

"We didn't order nuthing." Kakuzu grunted simply, stepping closer to the suddenly quivering Hidan.

"It's...I mean...its complementary..." She stuttered.

"Bring it in then." He got even closer and dragged his tongue slowly along the curve of Hidan's cheek.

The door swung open and the maid squealed; hiding behind a tray of pastries. "I'm so so so sorry! I didn't mean to intrude..."

Kakuzu shrugged and continued de-clothing Hidan; much to the blonde maid's horror.

"I...I'll leave you two alone!" She left as quickly as she arrived, slamming the door shut behind her; causing the tacky white Athena statue by the door to wobble precariously.

The fully unclothed Hidan started to shake even more, wobbled a bit, then fell backwards into the heart shaped Jacuzzi. He didn't resurface.

"Hidan? Hidan! This better not be some stupid joke!" Grabbing Hidan roughly by the shoulders, Kakuzu dragged the lifeless form of the pale man out of the ridiculous tub.

And then he noticed it.

A vague scent of lavender. Tinged with a kind of soapy smell.

His vision started to blur.

Unsteady on his feet, Kakuzu stumbled backwards a few feet.

"Dammit..." He mumbled catching sight of the offending item.

On the tray of cakes and pastries the room service maid had brought was a small pot of sweet-smelling incense.

Knockout incense.

And it was starting to take effect.


	4. Chapter 4

KakuHidan OLT part 3

"Wake up. Open your eyes you stitched freak."

Someone was slapping Kakuzu awake. There was a lot of shouting and swearing going on on the other side of the room.

"Jashin-sama will punish you for this!! I'll get out! And I'll murder each and every one of you retards!"  
Hidan.

"Wake up rag doll. Benke-Danna wants to speak to you." More slapping.

Kakuzu's chakra flared to life, the thick black threads stored in his body preparing to dislocate the assailant's neck from the rest of their body.

Unfortunately, his plans were cut short as hundreds of volts of electricity coursed through his body, making his lanky black hair almost stand on end.

He screamed out in pain; the metal shackles locking him to the wall and floor cut into his wrists and his blood slowly dripped down onto his bare chest where thick red welts marred it. And still; more slapping.

"Good. You're awake. As you can probably tell, the box attached to your chest is a chakra limiter. No jutsu = no ninja."

The slapping ceased when Kakuzu groggily opened his eyes. A blurred figure of an all too familiar girl stood before him wearing a black suit...

"The maid..." He half growled half whispered.

She put her hand on her hip in a 'tough guy' pose and laughed maliciously.

"Damn straight! No one ever suspects the little stuttering room service maid! That's why I'm one of the top players in Benke-Danna's army!!" She laughed again.

"Benke..." Kakuzu whispered his mind searching for the translation. "Retard? Why is he called retard?" He had begun to chuckle.

The blurry fuzz covering Kakuzu's vision had receded, paving the way for the surroundings. It was a dreary and bleak dungeon and across from him, also chained to the wall, was Hidan. A similar limiter was attached to his chest too. Blood slowly dripped from rich red welts that marked his chest onto a large pool of the viscous liquid that was congealing at his feet.

"So. You're awake you heathen asshole." He smirked.


	5. Chapter 5

KakuHidan OLT part 4

"Argh! Shit! Get the fucking hell off of me you sadistic bitch!"

For a week Hidan and Kakuzu had been chained to the wall of the cell and periodically taken down and subject to different types of torture in order to get them to spill the beans. The usual questions had been asked: who are you, who sent you, why the fuck are you here? Kakuzu had remained silent the whole time. Hidan had responded with a string of insults usually directed at the perpetrators mother which then resulted in further torture because said perpetrator couldn't stand him.

"Your mother's a fucking whore you--OUCH--are the spawn of some fat faggot--SHIT--that can't stand on his own two feet and--BOLLOCKS--needs someone to help him take a dump and--FUCKING ARSEHOLE--wouldn't be able to get a--SHIT FUCKING BITCH MOTHER FUCKER!!" And so on, and so forth.

Kakuzu regained consciousness for the fourth time that day to the sight of Hidan being enchained on the wall opposite. As he watched, Hidan's wounds visibly began to cauterise.

"What did they do?" He asked solemnly.

"My wounds weren't healing fast enough...I dunno what they put in me...but it burns."

Mentally, Kakuzu reached out for his partner, sure, sometimes they weren't the best of friends, hell, even Itachi and Deidara got along better than they did sometimes but they still cared for each other, through thick or thin, immortality or death, they were always together, saying 'Fuck you' to the world.

They wooden door burst open and the bitch of a guard waltzed in carrying a syringe of something purple...

"What'cha got there? Liquefied brain perhaps? Did you get it from the brainless guards outside or is it yours?" Kakuzu mocked as the blonde got closer.

She held it up, inches away from his face. "Poison. Strong enough for even a resistant bastard like you to be out for a few i_months_/i."

Kakuzu flinched inwardly, that syringe didn't look very nice. Grinning broadly, the blonde jabbed it into the main artery in his neck and pushed the plunger all the way to the base. Kakuzu actually i_felt_/i the liquid poison seep through his system and with every powerful beat of his 5 hearts it coursed stronger and further throughout his bloodstream. The tips of his fingers began to tingle and soon his entire body was paralyzed, Hidan had begun screaming again but to Kakuzu's ears it was all gibberish, all he wanted to do was sleep...


	6. Chapter 6

KakuHidan OLT part 5

Hidan watched in horror as the blonde maid sunk the needle into Kakuzu's skin. He cried out as Kakuzu slowly began to drift to sleep, his hearts pounding so wildly Hidan could almost hear them himself. He tried to blot out the noise of the maid's laughter, tears slowly dripped from the corners of his eyes and he bit down viciously on his lip. i_He_ b_**could not**_ /b_stand this torture_. /i Everything that had happened to him, the thumbscrews, the rack, everything, he could take it and run with it and shove it back in his tormentors faces but this, this, was a torture worthy of the gods.

"Well. That should keep him quiet for a while." She giggled. As she pulled out the needle, some of Kakuzu's blood came out with it; she licked at it like a festive puppy.

"You witch." Hidan muttered into his bare chest.

She giggled again and skipped out of the cell, punching one of the guards on the way.

"Kakuzu? Come on you heathen...wake up." He pulled feebly at the chains binding him to the wall, desperate to see if his partner was safe or dead.

He wasn't moving at all, his heartbeat was slow and pained, the poison had taken its toll and Hidan wouldn't be surprised if it killed one of Kakuzu's hearts. Giving one last desperate roar, Hidan pulled the chains binding him to the wall and with a sickening crunch, the one holding his right arm to the stone gave way but the limb fell uselessly to his side.

"Mother fucker..." He grumbled as his arm flopped feebly, it had dislocated and he hadn't even realized.

He managed to move into a position where he could push his arm back into place. It popped loudly as he pushed and a jolt of wrenching pain coursed through his arm and shoulder.

He'd managed it...


	7. Chapter 7

KakuHidan OLT- part 6

Hidan had to work fast. There was no telling when the guards might return or even that girl might come back while he was occupied. The remaining chain on the wall came away eventually, tearing a chunk of mortar with it, exposing the cell next to them. Hidan fell forward onto the floor; the manacles around his ankles restricting his movement. He hissed inwardly, he'd smacked his nose on the floor when he'd fallen and now blood was trickling down his face. He had to hurry, Kakuzu was still unconscious and there was no guarantee as to when someone might come. He dragged himself over to where the other shinobi dangled lifelessly.

"Kuzu? Kakuzu? What am I going to fucking do with you?" He ran his hand down the side of Kakuzu's face and sighed deeply.

Tiredness overtook his pale body, and an immense sadness at their current situation pulled him to the floor by his partner's feet. He sighed and stared glumly at the limiter on his chest, it was like one big circle of irritating pain and jealousy. That was how he viewed it, an instrument of jealousy from the heathens outside the cells. He ground his knuckles into the sides of his head, trying not to think about the situation at hand.

"Oh Jashin...what am I going to do?" And that was when Hidan's idea struck him. And like all of Hidan's ideas, it was masochistic, dangerous and probably going to kill him for a few of his precious hours of freedom.

He grabbed the edges of the limiter roughly, shoving the tips of his fingers underneath the circular object and pulling as hard as his weakened state would allow. His skin began to tear where the six thick wires were embedded into his flesh and the circular device slowly came away, still leaving a vicious red welt on him where the blunt nodule pushed into his chest, never quite breaking the skin. Using one last ounce of his fading strength, Hidan tore away the wires with his hand, ripping six bloody holes in his stomach. He felt the last of his strength ebbing away as more and more blood trickled from the wounds, and finally, he passed out, right at Kakuzu's feet.


	8. Chapter 8

KakuHidan OLT part 8

"What the fuck?! How dare you try to escape!!" The girl pulled herself to her feet and grabbed hold of Hidan's arm in a vain attempt to drag him back into the cell.

"Don't you even fucking dare!" Hidan pulled his arm away viciously and kicked her. His foot planted underneath her chin, and she was sent flying back into the wall in front of them.

Hidan placed the unconscious Kakuzu onto the floor and dropped into a fighting stance; sans the scythe. Laughing sadistically, Hidan stood on the neck of the blonde and grinned down his nose at her. Almost immediately she began choking, the crushing force of Hidan's entire weight weighing down on her fragile throat.

"Now bitch. Spill it, how do we get out of here?"

She coughed as Hidan released the pressure ever so slightly. "You'll never escape. You'll die at the hands of the guards or spend eternity running in circles." She sneered at the shinobi, whose already short fuse was short enough without her getting in the way- needless to say- he snapped.

Hidan kicked her head sharply, a spurt of blood alerting him to her now broken nose. Staring incredulously at the blood dripping from her face, she wiped it away with the back of her hand. The blonde's eyes narrowed at Hidan, who was grinning sadistically.

"You bastard!" Her chakra flared and sparked, igniting a blaze in the palm of her hand.

Opting for a less in your face attitude, Hidan's eyes widened slightly, then settled for raising a single eyebrow. The bitch smirked at his expression- then attacked. A flurry of fiery blows raining down on the bare skin of his arms and torso. Hidan forced his chakra into his legs and dodged a possibly deadly blow from her left hand. Using the momentum from his evasion, he span and landed a well placed kick on the back of her head. She collapsed underneath him, unconscious.

"Hidan...? What...urk...my head hurts so much..." Hidan span around, grinning wildly.

"So, you're awake you heathen bastard, Jashin must've gone easy on you."

Kakuzu sneered deftly; a ghost of a smirk playing across his stitched features. "Let's get out of here."


End file.
